These few days passed without hearing much from you. Who had been the one accompanying me? Would i be happier had it been you? Maybe so maybe not. I no longer know who is who. My work is constantly piling up and wearing me out. My mum is of no help either. Constantly rubbing salt into my open wounds and occasionally picking at the stitches and rubbing salt in.
Work. It has never been enjoyable. If one can get such a job, then hold onto it. But how many can actually get one? Ha!
I feel so numb. I wish i was still 12. Young and ignorant. Being "in" was all that mattered. I wish i could pick that blade up again. Just to make me "feel" again.
Are you waiting for my message? Will you be waiting for it? Will i ever have what use to be? I am tired. I've been trying and living in my own dreams but are they real? Or are they really just my own dreams. Maybe we're all too caught up with our own lives right now.
Money is the root of all evilEvil adj wicked; bad. *
n sin; harm
Evil adj bad, ill; bad, base, corrupt,malicious, malevolent, malign, nefarious, perverse, sinful, vicious, vile, wicked wrong; bad, deleterious, baleful, baneful, destructive, harmful, hurtful, injurious, noxious, pernicious; adverse, bad, calamitous, disastrous, unfortunate, unhappy, unpropritious, woeful.
*Adapted from Geddes & Grosset Dictionary and Thesaurus New Edition 1997
Funny how a small word with just 4 letters in it can have so many other words to describe it. Find if one can, another word that has more similar words than 'evil'.
But i cannot fully agree that money is indeed evil. It is only evil when one does not have as much as one desire or does not have any. These two classes of people will then covet what the rich has. By coveting, they become corrupt, malicious and malevolent. This actually starts the downward spiral and they become more or less the 'malignant tumour' of the human race. Why? Simple. They start becoming destructive, baleful, harmful, and hurtful 'cause they harm others to get what they desire. By knowing such people will only make one feel unhappy. But if one has such a person in the family then one will definately be unfortunate and woeful.
I am satisfied with what i have and what i earn. But someone else is not. Oh woe is me. How can i give more when it is all so limited. Somehow i'm starting to think if what i knew about the past was actually correct. What if she wanted to lie? What if the person lying all along was her? But now who can i trust? Money was the issue when my dad was around. Now that i'm working and obviously earning more than my brother, money has become the issue between me and my mum. Is it just me and her or is this just her? That she is really someone who wants and constantly wants more? Of everything? I can only wait and see if the situation worsens when my brother gets a job after completing his National Service. But then again, he is her pet. Favourtism. Which family doesn't have. I just hope i'm all wrong.
-iWrote 3/05/2005 11:43:00 AM
